. I was thinking “am I selfish”? I had tried to give o**l to one, and kiss another of my ex-girl friends, I couldn't... I had lost them... probably I didn't communicate properly... I could compromise on shaving... it was not so important...I took a paper wrote my feeling, desires, fantasises, even the previous failed relations because of my short coming/limitations... went to her room... she was sleeping... kept it on the table and come out... when I was closing the door behind me, I felt she was pretending to sleep while I was in the room and woke up after I came out... I didn't look back... walked strait to my room closed the door... I was over whelmed... I tried to sleep fully covered in my blanket... tears were rolling out of the corner of my eyes... I stayed like that for a while... suddenly I heard the room door open... I didn't move... she came closer and sat on the bed... touched me gently on my shoulder over the blanket and started to walk back... I pushed my blanket to look. It’s Ms. Dorazon. ‘Were you sleeping, Angela,’ she asks softly. ‘No, really, please come in, Ms. Dorazon.’ She seems uncertain about something. ‘No, that’s alright,’ she says. ‘Will you come and see me tomorrow morning, after breakfast?’ I make some general shy and uncommittal noises as if asleep already. She seems satisfied. I do not know what I want. I want to be away from all of this. When I dream I am in control, of everybody I’ve met here. I’m bigger than everyone else. All of the girls I’ve seen are sitting in a circle around with big wide eyes. Mimsy brings Ms. Dorazon in on a wheelchair. When she speaks, it is with an old and creaky dream voice. ‘Angela, will you tell the girls what you are really afraid of?’ I look at Mimsy, who is making eating motions. So I pick up Ms. Dorazon and eat her. She crumples up like tinfoil. She tastes like spearmint. I look around at the girls. Juirly is there. She has a large penis that moves like it’s breathing. It has a shining head..
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